How to Set Clearer Expectations at Work

“I’m feeling really frustrated because I told [insert name] to do [insert task] and they never did it.”

I hear some version of that sentence often when with my coaching clients. We often get frustrated when we feel like we communicated and we aren’t getting the results we want. This applies whether the other person is our business partner, or a direct report, or just another team member. The other week I had three different clients come to me with some version of this problem and in each of those cases, we identified that there was an opportunity to set clearer expectations.

What do I mean by “setting expectations”? Well, often we overestimate the information that other people have. As a result, we think the other person has all the information they need to do what we asked of them, but in reality there might have been key pieces of information that were missing. In reality, we've created a scenario where the other person would need to read our mind in order to meet our expectations. This is then compounded by the actor-observer bias. When the other person fails to complete a task to our satisfaction, we start to question the other person’s abilities, competencies, or character. Whereas if we had failed to complete the requested task, we would attribute it to external factors.

In reality, it’s likely that we didn’t properly communicate all the relevant information the other person needed to meet our expectations. So what are the key pieces of information we need to ensure we communicate effectively? There are four main pieces of information: the goal, the outcome, the deadline, and the interpretation. 

THE GOAL

First, ensure that both you and the other person understand what you are trying to achieve and why. I see this mistake a lot with managers who may dictate what they need (the outcome), but not why they need it and how it will be used. If we assume that the people we are working with have some set of skill and expertise in their role, then we’d likely want them to also help us solve the problem. By providing the right context around the request, we leave room for a new, better suggestion to be proposed. 

For example, I had a client who was being asked to own the purchasing process for their company which meant they were the only one who could purchase anything with the corporate card which created some friction. I asked them to identify the intention behind the policy. It turned out their boss was afraid that expenses would get too high if everyone had access to corporate cards. As a result of identifying the intent (e.g. to keep expenses from ballooning), my client was able to come up with two or three alternatives that would meet that goal while also taking them out of the middle of this process.

THE OUTCOME

The next area where we tend to provide too little information is around the outcome. Once we know what we are trying to achieve, it’s important to clarify what success looks like. Otherwise, what is delivered may not match our expectations. A friend of mine shared a great example the other day. It’s like when a parent tells their child to “clean their room” and then is disappointed when they still see a messy room later. Well, what does “clean” mean exactly? To the parent it likely meant a bed that is made, dirty clothes in the hamper, and toys put away. To the child, it might have meant just one of those or some other interpretation. We need to make sure we understand how success is going to be measured and what a great job looks like.  

This often shows up at work. For instance, I had a client who was concerned their direct report wasn’t making enough client calls. When I asked what number they agreed to as their target or goal, they admitted they hadn’t really communicated a set goal. Following our conversation, they decided to go back and reset these expectations. Now, if the problem continues to persist, they will have data to back them up and help facilitate the conversation.

Another aspect of communicating the outcome is around aligning on the steps to complete along the way. Particularly if you are asking someone to do something new, they may not have the experience to meet your expectations without more support. Another client I worked with was asking their cofounder to take on a new role since they were bootstrapping their work. When their partner wasn’t delivering what they had in mind, we realized this was a new task for the person and so it was beneficial to go through it together once or twice. This ensured they could align on the steps in the process and the important deliverables.

THE DEADLINE

Another small, but important, step that people miss is assigning work to another individual and not specifying the deadline. When are you expecting this person to finish the task? For a particularly large or complicated project, are there check-ins along the way to ensure you remain on the same page? How can we get mad at someone for not finishing something if we never told them when it should be finished? Next time, make sure you specify a deadline or ask the other person when is a reasonable time to check in or deliver the finished product.

THE INTERPRETATION

“One of the biggest misconceptions about communication is that it happened,” says Lauren Kaplan, the co-Founder of the HR advisory firm, Growth Ops Advisory.

Even once we go through and clarify the goal, the outcome, and the deadline, we still need to check for understanding. In any conversation, what we said and what the other person heard can be different. In this case, I tell my clients to ask the other person to summarize the next steps so they can hear that person repeat in their own words what they are going to go do. This ensures that before you leave that conversation, you are on the same page and can avoid any issues later. 

SUMMARY

These seemingly simple pieces of information can make the difference between getting what you want and being frustrated and disappointed. A lot of times what prevents us from having these conversations in advance or addressing them right away is a conflict avoidance. Somehow we equate directness with being unkind. However, according to Ron Shuman, Principal at Growth Ops Advisory, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Having these conversations isn’t mean. Being mean is not being clear in your expectations and setting that person up for failure,” Ron says.

Everyone wants to do well at work and so the best thing we can do is to be clear with our expectations and set people up for success. The next time you ask someone to do something and you don’t get what you expected, immediately ask yourself, “Where could I have been more specific in my communication?” Then go back through these four steps and realign your expectations with this individual and try again.