Please Don't Refer to Me as "Half" Black
Growing up as the child of an interracial and interfaith marriage in the early 1990s and 2000s, there weren’t a lot of resources available to help me navigate those dynamics. It was a time where we were still promoting “color-blind” as our best anti-racist efforts. And so at that time, we also used to describe children like me as “half [blank]”. I would introduce myself as “half Black and half white” when asked my least favorite question (and microaggression) “What are you?”. When I would tell people that I was also Jewish despite having a mother who was Catholic, they were quick to reply, “Oh so you’re only half Jewish”. Their response felt as if they were expressing a sigh of relief to themselves.
These descriptions of me as being “half” of something never really sat well with me. I always found it really absurd when people would tell me that I was “half Jewish”. Aside from being a race, Judaism is also a religion and how is a person only half of a religion? I always knew that describing myself as “half” diminished my value in some way because I am in fact a whole person. However, at the timeI didn’t have any other language to use.
Now in my 30s, after years of research and searching for answers to my own questions about navigating my race and ethnicity, I am here to proclaim that it's time to retire these fractional descriptors in favor of language that promotes a sense of belonging. As a result, in lieu of describing myself as “half Black and half white”, I now prefer the term “biracial” or “multiracial”. For example, in my workshops I will often introduce myself as a biracial Black woman. Please note that this preferred descriptor is not definitive for all multiracial individuals as every individual defines their identity differently. I speak for myself, not for all individuals in this group. For example, some may prefer to use the term “mixed” to describe themselves. But I prefer multiracial or biracial.
So why the change? What’s wrong with using the term “half Black” or “a quarter Chinese” to describe multiracial individuals? I’ll explain to you the impact that these words have on one’s experience.
Throughout my life, when I would venture out into the world and meet people who were Jewish, for example, I would try and connect with them over our shared background and experience of being Jewish. I would proudly decry upon learning that they are Jewish that I am Jewish too! However, when someone, upon noting my multiracial background, remarked that I am only “half Jewish” it immediately sends a signal that there is a barrier between us. I am not actually like them and not part of their group. It’s a rejection and metacommunication that I am lesser than because a half is less than a whole. It’s like Gretchen Weiners yelling at me, “You can’t sit with us!”
The same example holds true for when I would try to connect with my Black heritage. If I am only “half Black” then I am not a true part of the Black community. I am a separate entity and being. And growing up I certainly felt like I was alone on an island. The message being sent was that if I’m only half of something then I don’t fully belong there.
The sum total effect of this language is a feeling of isolation rather than connection. Being half Black, half Jewish (and this is without me even adding in my family’s Hispanic connections due to a Panamanian grandmother) makes me part of a very specific group and club of which I am often the only member in a given room. On the one hand, I am unique. But what I so desperately wanted growing up is what we all want, to be connected and part of a community.
But look at what shifts if we change the language and allow multiracial individuals to fully own ALL the parts of their identity. If I describe myself as a biracial Black woman, I am now connecting myself to the Black community as an equal. You are a Black woman and I am a Black woman. The fact that I am biracial becomes an addition rather than a subtraction to my experience. In this context, being biracial is another lens on which to filter my Black experience, rather than something that separates me from it altogether.
This small, but meaningful language change gives me permission and entry to all my various cultural identities, without having to choose or forced to stand alone in my own separate category. I am Jewish AND I am Black. What I am not though, is a half person.
Over the last few years I’ve felt more and more empowered to speak up about my experience as a multiracial individual. Part of that is feeling more confident that I am not alone in my feelings and experiences. Part of it is also that I am no longer afraid of people weaponizing my experiences to denounce interracial and interfaith marriages. More importantly, by talking about these experiences I have been able to educate myself and others by starting a conversation.
As the internet and social media have connected us further each year, it has enabled me to connect with more people who have multiracial experiences. As a result, I’ve been able to meet and hear from more multiracial and biracial individuals than I was able to in the past. In the past 5 years alone, I’ve joined a Slack group called the Mixed Kids Club, I’ve signed up for newsletters from the Multiracial Americans of Southern California group, and read books like “Raising Multiracial Children” by Farzana Nayani.
All of this is to say that our understanding of the multiracial (mixed) experience is expanding and changing and this is a good thing. So take this article as an opportunity to evolve and grow with those learnings rather than an attack on language that you’ve been using for many years. And when we inevitably shift our language again in another decade or two, be open to embracing that change too.
